Welcome to Ask Red Brown.

A note from Red:
Live at the Rojo Cafe would like to be asked rhetorical questions that are really the nervous jabbering of beautiful women who would secretly like to breed with me, or near me.

Submit inquiries to mzakin @ downpony dot com

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Inquiry from Skinny –
Red, I’m going to hook up the food situation for the Chicago rehearsals, anything special you’d like?

Red -
Alas, I have become even more restrictive with my diet. Now, I only eat dandelions, seaweed and sometimes ground palm fronds. (I saw an ad in an elevator for "ground floor" once. I think it was a vending machine type of thing with a button, and all. I just don't think that would be any good.) The roughage is really moving! I don't drink water anymore; I only inhale filtered steam. Sometimes, if I really feel like partying, I'll vaporize some wine and gently olfactorize the gas. As you can imagine, my health has really responded to this regimen, and I have lost nearly all my weight! I think I'm really down with something big! You should give it a try!*

*(theLullabadeer insists you see your doctor before making dietary changes unless they are in the macrobiotic direction)

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Inquiry from The General –
Red, I’ll need the dimensions of your bass case in order to ship it for Operation Tangier.

Red -
The bass case is over ten light-years tall! I know it is hard to believe, but it is simply amazing! It also weighs the equivalent of twenty-seven solar masses. It usually costs around ten-to-the-43rd dollars to ship it, but that is not really that much money. It can usually be earned before the universe is half over, provided it is not already half over...it just works out, some how. The show must go on, etc.

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Inquiry from Divers (Wisconson)–
Red, how'd you get the name Red? Kinda cool that your first name is a primary color and your last name's a secondary color.

Red -
I got my name in Mexico, same as my shoes!

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A few questions from David (Vermont):
1. What is a thought?

Red -

Preceded usually by an event, a thought is a mental effort to perceive things clearly through a cloud of emotion-induced chemicals which have been produced in the brain according to the preconditioned response/bias of the thinker.  Thoughts are usually very dangerous and therefore best left to those who have the least ability to execute them.

2. What is a infinity?

Red -
Non-finite. Boundless. It can be comprehended by looking at the components of its antonym that set it apart and then removing them.  What are the implications of having no boundaries? Something can be infinite by nature such as being infinitely small. You can continue to divide a fraction for ever and never achieve the smallest indivisible unit. Infinite is highly subjective and has different implications for everything.  For instance, it represents the length of time that my wife will in the bathroom when I really need it.

3. Could it be that this sentence is false?

Red -
It could be that everything is false. Your sentence is in the form of a question, so it is fairly safe to assume that it is seeking truth. It is looking to verify something that it already suspects. Veritas, of course is the latin word for truth. Unless it is on a quest to collect more of what it already has, I would bet that it is looking for something it does not have (truth), and therefore it is possible that it is false.  Anyway, anything is possible to greater, or lesser degrees.  So, I say yes.

4. If our bodies are physical, and if physical things move according to the physical laws of nature, then how can we have any control over our bodies?

Red -
Our bodies are not entirely physical. Consciousness is clearly a component.  If it were not, I could not write this, and you could not read it. Consciousness must also be one of the products of nature. It does not lay outside of nature, so it must be included as part of nature, no? We have control, to a point, the boundary being when the physical laws of nature overpower our ability to resist. So it seems that we have some control over our bodies, and other physical bodies, too. When a conscious being influences an inanimate object, that object then comes under the control of both a conscious being and the laws of nature. Free will is either in play, or the illusion of free will is. One way we have control over our motion, or action, and the other, well everything we think is moot, or scripted.

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From a fan named Bart (California):
I watched the movie "Contact" the other day in which a plan for space transport is discovered by Jodi Foster. The theory of relativity states that a person in space will age less than a person on earth (time moves slower in space, relative to earth). In the movie, Foster's transport capsule drops through a gyroscope-like accelerator and is enclosed for approximately half a second. Her experience is that she travels through a series of "worm holes" and is gone for about 18 hours. This is backwards to Einstein's theory of relativity. Please explain the theoretical "worm holes" and if necessarily account for the longer time spent in space relative to the time that passed on earth.

Red -
Time does not necessarly slow down in space.  It slows down relative to the velocity of an object to which the measurement is being applied.  If an object were traveling the speed of light,there would be no "time" left for any other motion, and therefore appear to stop aging or doing anything else but traveling at the "SOL". This would apply to a pendulum on a clock, or the cellular and atomic activity in your body.  This is because the speed of light is finite. If you want to go the speed of light, you will have no time for anything else.  For the traveler, in this case Jodie Foster, she may see that she is gone for a few minutes, but those minutes are moving so slowly (if she is really close to the "SOL," or not at all if she is at the SOL) that for a person on earth, she may be gone for years, or for ever!

As far as worm holes go, time also appears to slow down when it is under the influence of large gravitational forces such as a black hole. Any gravity, and any velocity will effect time, but it only becomes apparent to us (humans) at astronomical levels. As far as Jodie's "inverted relativity" goes, it could be possible that here on Earth (or maybe our entire galaxy) we are moving at a fairly large fraction of the speed of light, but we don't know it because we have no frame of reference to compare it to.  So Jodie Foster goes out in space, gets caught in the eddie of a worm hole and is, in effect, brought down to a slower speed, or smaller fraction of the speed of light than we are at, here on Earth, and so she thinks she is gone for hours, but we might measure only a few minutes. Her minutes take longer than ours because she is moving at a slower percentage of the SOL. Does anybody really know what "0 velocity"  feels like? How would you know where you stood on the scale of velocity between 0-SOL? We must be somewhere between the two. Maybe there are different effects and realities for various sectors, etc...Maybe "0 velocity" is the realm of God?  Maybe Jodie Foster should have taken a taxi, instead! 
I hope that clears a few things up!

Red (shift) Brown

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From a fan David (Houston):
If it itches, should I scratch it?

Red -
Only if it feels good, and is non-infectious!  This question would best be directed to Skinny, our drummer.

From Skinny, our drummer and professional consultant:
If it itches and you know what it is....don't scratch it.
If it itches and you don't know what it is....definitely don't scratch it.

 

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